“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
–John Donne (1572-1631) (nope, not Hemmingway)
For Whom the Bells Toll
Those bells tolling in the distance can start you thinking about how you want to design the rest of your life. Are Americans who move to Portugal running away from everything, or are we simply trying to write the best final chapter? I would have to say the answer is the latter.
There are many blogs written about Portugal and most of them acknowledge how friendly and welcoming the Portuguese people are. It seems to me that those in the expat community have gravitated to Portugal because they tend to be of similar disposition.
We have met some amazing people here. Getting to know everyone’s background story is fun and interesting. Every expat we have met has one thing in common, an appreciation for Portugal and a thankfulness for having discovered it.
“Discovering” Portugal has a rather arrogant sound to it. Obviously, it was discovered centuries before any of us arrived. We are not planting our flag here. But it is new to all of us and we are touched by the warmth and open hearts of the Portuguese people.
Portland to Portugal
Before we expatriated to Portugal, we had monthly meetings in Portland with a group appropriately named Portland to Portugal. We see that there are now similar groups popping up around the USA, Atlanta to Portugal, etc. Our P2P group had about 50 people in different stages of moving and it was a great place to gather information from those who were a step or more ahead of us.
We attended a mini-reunion in Obidos recently. Eleven of us met up, mostly from the P2P group. A lovely couple who hosted the event arrived in Portugal about the same time we did. They purchased a beautiful house at a fraction of the cost of what a similar dwelling would have cost in Portland. I am sure that there will be a few bottles of wine shared on their patio in view of the castle, which is over 800 years old. The castle with its stone wall has been refurbished and expanded on a few times over the centuries.
Our friends’ house has its own stone wall on the lower patio. That wall has perhaps stood for at least a century also. Walking in the common area we saw an old grinding wheel that must weigh a ton, sitting in the lawn. I don’t know how it made it there but in the background is the old house in which grains were ground for flour.
Ginja de Obidos was served up for this fun occasion. This amazing liqueur is as famous in Obidos as is the castle. Ginja is similar to a cherry. It is soaked in a distilled spirit called aguardente and is drunk from a small chocolate cup. You drink the Ginja first and then eat the cup. Don’t nibble at it or it will spill on you (as my wife found out).
Obidos is about an hour from our current residence in Mafra. One couple drove from a town about 20 minutes to the east of Obidos, another from Setubal. One woman drove from the northern border of Portugal where nobody speaks any English. I believe the population is eighteen. Nineteen now, having added an adventurous soul. Before Portugal she was a ship captain, pilot, trucker and a biker. Yes, there is no shortage of interesting and fascinating people here.
As you might expect, some expats rent while others buy a home here. Some rely on public transportation, taxis and Uber to get around while others buy a vehicle. Taxis are only a tad more expensive than Uber here. I haven’t met any expat yet who owns more than one vehicle.
Some of us have chosen to return “home” once a year to visit. Others have chosen never to go back, deciding that it would work out better for people to come visit them here if they so desire. As you can imagine, there is no one mold that expats fit into. The affordable costs and the pleasant weather in Portugal accommodate almost any life choices you make.
Although we naturally gravitate toward expats for most of our socializing and entertainment, I don’t know of any expat enclaves. All of us live in diverse communities among Portuguese who have included us in local activities and have even invited us over to their homes for family occasions.
Amêijoas Na Cataplana
We met a fun couple who moved from Cascais to Ericeira and arranged to meet us for lunch at one of their favorite restaurants. They ordered amêijoas na cataplana, which is a wonderful assortment of clams, crabs and prawns in wine sauce with onions, tomatoes, garlic and spices. I’m sure I am leaving a few things out.
We also had an appetizer of small shrimp swimming in butter (their natural habitat), delicious Portuguese bread, two of bottles of wine and dessert. The entire bill came to 70 euros plus tip for the four of us.
I dripped some butter on my shirt, which is par for the course. Our new friend said that he was always guilty of spilling things on himself. Not missing a beat, he tilted the cataplana so that we could get a picture of this masterpiece of a meal (the menu said for two, but it easily fed four).
The juices from the cataplana spilled onto the table as you can see from the picture. We couldn’t stop laughing at the perfect timing of the incident. Of course, wine tends to make things more jovial. The owner and the waiter were quite nice, and humorous about it as well.
About the Wine
Wine is always flowing at every occasion. One reason is that all the wine is good here. Maybe not everyone will agree with that statement. I am not a wine connoisseur but I know what I like. And so far I have liked it all. I did have some problems with Port being too sweet and syrupy for my taste, until a local friend gave us a bottle of some really good Port for Christmas. It was rich and smooth, spicy and delicious.
Another reason wine flows so easily here is that it is quite inexpensive. I am not exaggerating when I say that many times at restaurants, the wine is the same price as the water. Wine, please!
Will Moving to Portugal Solve All of Your Problems?
Not exactly. You never move away from yourself. Although I have mentioned how easy it is to make friends in Portugal, there is always an exception to the rule. I did read a post by someone who was feeling lonely. She was thinking that maybe Portugal was rejecting her. That saddened me but I noticed that a lot of people reached out to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had made friends by the end of the week.
Depression is not something to be taken lightly. Moving to a different location isn’t a panacea. A change of location can be healthy and invigorating but it doesn’t automatically cure you of a host of physical or mental ailments. It can be a step in the right direction, though, where the sun shines more often, medical attention is humane and affordable, and people who you encounter are open and welcoming.
The process of moving is stressful and can cause anxiety, which leads to depression. But once the dust settles, things get shinier. I am definitely happier here. It has something to do with the sunshine and being near the ocean. But more so, it is because I find myself surrounded by positive people, both with the local Portuguese, the expats I have met, and my wife whose disposition tends to be sunnier than mine. She got down in the dumps around Christmas while baking gingerbread cookies without the grandkids, but that is to be expected.
Three of our grandchildren will be visiting in March. Cathy has already planned out a full itinerary and has frozen a bunch of gingerbread cookies which I am not allowed go near. I wonder if she has counted them.
The Pros and Cons of Facebook
The Facebook post I mentioned, about the despondent woman who received support from concerned strangers, is one of the positives of Facebook. Another positive is that it connects us with old friends and it helps us make new friends. Not just online but in actual physicality as well. My 50th high school reunion would have been a fraction of the size without Facebook helping people reconnect.
During the process of moving to Portugal, I joined a few different Portugal expat groups to help us navigate the process of residency. We made acquaintances online who later became friends here in Portugal. We all know the negatives, of course. Facebook is invasive as hell. Controversy leads to divisiveness and tribalism. Fake news spreads like the plague.
My pet peeve is the ads. I can tolerate ads that I can scroll past, or short ads at the beginning of a clip. It is the ads they stick in the middle of a clip that puzzle me. Who puts an ad in the middle of a comedy bit? Comedy is all about timing. You never hear a comedian say, “I will give you the punchline after a word from our sponsor”. Or in the middle of a song? Only a greedy person with messed up priorities would allow this practice. That is just another reason why I am not a fan of Mark Zuckerberg.
I admire people who have shunned Facebook, even though I have shamelessly chosen to engage in it with all its faults. And our move to Portugal would have been a lot more difficult if not for others who have helped us on Facebook expat forums.
Okay, that’s my Facebook rant. On to another favorite subject that every married couple needs to think about when deciding to move to Portugal, or any other country away from home..
Alone with Your Significant Other
One topic that has come up more than once is being together exclusively with your spouse before meeting new people in a strange land. Couples have mentioned how refreshing it is to speak with someone other than one’s spouse. Running out of things to talk about are also a common topic among couples we have met.
Once you retire and leave the familiarity of friends, family and jobs, you need new activities to keep things lively. All in all, I would have to say that setting out in a new adventure together is a positive.
There are a number of activities available to keep ourselves busy and expand our horizons. Personally, I like to write, and I intend to take up painting as well. Cathy has expressed an interest in volunteering with children in a local school as well as joining a local choral acapella group.
Of course, language is on all expat wish lists, but some of us are better at learning a new language than others. Portuguese is not an easy language to learn. There are also yoga classes, surfing, cooking and so on and so forth. Once we get into our new home in Ericeira later this year, we will look into these. I’m not sure about surfing, though.
The Bells will Toll Again in Mafra (for Thee)
The Concerto Inaugural Restauro dos Carrilhões do Real Edificio de Mafra will be held on February 2nd. Loosely translated, that means there will be and Inaugural Concert for the Restoration of the Chimes of Mafra. The bells in the Mafra Palace bell tower are about 300 years old and will toll for the first time in a decade, after a full restoration.
This is the largest bell set in the world, 119 bells! They will be rung by professional bell ringers. Yes, that is a thing. This is a five-minute walk from where we live and I will be there with bells on!!
Bob, I didn’t know you had this talent, but your blog is amazing, and I will be looking forward to each and every one. And, you and Cathy are welcome back whenever you are in the area, or need someone different with whom to talk.
PS, I just returned from the walk we didn’t get to finish on Monday. I will be posting some photos from it soon.
Thank you, David! Cathy sent a picture of one of your kitties to our grandson and now he wants to meet them when visiting in March. He loves cats! 🙂
Love your blogs Bob, keep them coming! Enjoyed visiting with you and Cathy!
Looking forward to seeing you and Rob again at the Valentine’s lunch!
Bob,
Thanks. Great blog. Great writing. I appreciate all of it. I had friends who lived in Portugal for a brief time 50 years ago. It sounds like the magic and affordability of the place remains. Amazing!
Best
Robert
PS Santa Monica, CA is not Portugal, but it will have to suffice for now for us non-empty nesters. It was great seeing you at the reunion.
PPS. I agree with you re Facebook.
Wonderful Blog Bob… you clearly expressed many of the thoughts and feelings and experiences most of us have experienced in immersing ourselves in our new life/lives. An early one ilicited a, “Oh no! Not another learning experience!” The powerful thing was we shared it on the Expat FB pages and heard others had done the same thing…and many were grateful to know and skip that particular Learning Experience!
Exactly! “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Love reading your writings!!
Life sounds good. So much to explore, learn and fun meeting new people. Happy for the two of you and I hope to be one of your visitors!!
😘
Molly, we are counting on it!
Bob, your third paragraph sums up our exact feelings about moving to Arizona. Meeting new people and hearing fresh stories, while constantly telling each other that we are so lucky to have found this community is a game changer. Being around people who feel happy and fortunate on a daily basis is extremely uplifting! And of course the blue skies and sunshine are awesome!
This edition of your blog included pros and cons of a big move, and I’m happy to see that what I predicted would be a great life experience for you and Cathy is becoming a reality. Keep up the good work!
You were right. According to the United States Declaration of Independence, everyone is entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. While that may sound selfish, maybe if everyone followed that ideal and helped others achieve it as well, there would be no more wars or hunger.
Hi Bob,
We are coming over this summer for an indefinite stay. Can I ask you questions in an email rather than on this blog? I know of you from my friend and your former elementary school friend Leslie Lanes. We Arthur and I live now in Hawaii and have been reading your blog. Thanks for responding.
Aloha
Linda
Hi Linda. I tried emailing you a couple of times. Feel free to respond to them with your questions.
Aloha Bob, I lived in Portland, went to Portland State, Milwaukie HS, etc. went to the Western States Chiro College there too. I have lived in Hilo since 1990, three generations now. But, getting so expensive here, my son will be going to community college and major in botany and engineering, how are the colleges there? probably less expensive.courses in English? I tried to learn Portuguese while driving my car up Stainback road and almost drove off the road trying to repeat the words via audio language tape. lol My ancestors are Portuguese, via DNA testing, and my wife is from PI. Could I practice there as a chiro? I do get social security and we would sell our home here in Hilo. I heard bout your blog from someone at BJ Penn gym, said it was well written. I agree I have a masters in writing too, and I love your blogs, and also a professional artist (another master in painting). I have three generations here in Hawaii, over in Kona, so I need to go back and forth too. Could my wife open up a ex-pat restaurant?. I’m rambling a bit as writing down my thoughts as I write.. What does a home cost there? Can we work three but self-employed? Where is a good place to live? We make great neighbors btw. Dr. Dale and Irene (i have two books on Amazon, Kindle if you want to check me out. Don’t buy them as too expenseive otherwise.)
Hi Dale. Welcome to my blog! Yes, Hawaii is terribly expensive. I can’t answer your questions about schools as there are so many variables. Definitely keep studying your Portuguese. Make sure it’s not Brazilian, though. I wouldn’t recommend starting a business here until you get the lay of the land. People don’t pay much here for goods and services. If you can figure out some way to become a digital nomad, then that would be a better choice. The further away from the cities and the beaches you get, the cheaper house prices are. We are renting in Mafra and building in Ericeira but you should check out Portugal real estate online. You could spend $100,000 or you could spend a million.
Like!! Thank you for publishing this awesome article.